Five Cases – Chapter 10: Helping Out

The name plate on Lu Hui’s little squad’s office door changed to “Serious Crimes Investigation Squad”. Because they were subordinate only to Director Gao—not to any other team—Lu Hui walked around with his head high, his chest puffed out, and a breeze in his step. 

From the beginning of summer till midsummer, the serious crimes squad worked with two other teams on two cases, both of which were nothing to write home about. Lu Hui was unwilling to even show up for work. 

“You must be in your office at least, right?” Captain Wei lectured motherly, “Make some tea, play games, watch TV, read magazines, anything is fine so long as you’re in the office.” He stressed the last three words. 

“Boring.” Lu Hui was sprawled on the sofa, like he was paralyzed. He shook out the newspaper in his hand, creating a rustling sound. 

“Go to work. Right. This. Instant.” Captain Wei ran out of patience. 

“I refuse.” Lu Hui backhanded the newspaper, releasing a deafening “pa” sound. 

“Then I’ll just give your sister a call.” Captain Wei pulled out his ultimate trap card⸺【Tattle to family】

“…” Lu Hui grabbed the newspaper, lifting an eyebrow, “Go ahead and give her a call. You just got divorced, my sister’s been single for so long, raging passion at last ignites~ I’d love to play matchmaker~” He formed an orchid hand gesture, “Wei—Lang—yiyaaa”^[1]1 lmaooo, so first, the orchid hand gesture, with the forefinger and thumb touching, which is a movement in traditional dances/opera to show delicacy. Second, the formatting is hard to translate … Continue reading

Captain Wei could no longer endure and hung up. 

Lu Hui was overjoyed, hanging up the phone and curling up on the sofa cheerfully. 

——Linhua City’s Public Safety Bureau——

“Where’s Chief Lu?” Rao Feifei walked into the office, “Team Four’s captain has a case.”

“He didn’t come.” Ji Fanyang placed the selected case off to one side. At first, Ji Fanyang had called Lu Hui to ask for advice for each and every case, but after experiencing Lu Hui’s various rhetorical techniques for sarcasm, he generally knew which cases Lu Hui would like or not. 

Ones with a clear suspect, no. 

Ones with a homicidal maniac, no. 

Ones with domestic disputes, no. 

Ones with crimes of passion, no. 

“…” Ji Fanyang spent the morning trying to select a case, but the ‘selected’ pile on the right hand side was completely barren, while the ‘discard’ pile was a small mountain. 

“Fanyang.” A young person stood at the doorway, hurriedly saying, “Help me out, please, your squad is the most free.”

Ji Fanyang looked around and smiled wryly. Indeed, their chief did not feel like coming, Rao Feifei leaned on the table as she scrolled through Weibo with great enjoyment, and Sister Yang was helping out team three. He sighed: “What is it?”

“To send out a notice.”  The young officer entered and placed some papers on the desk, “A simple slip-and-fall on a rainy day. Go notify the family about their death.”

“But this isn’t work for the police…?” Ji Fanyang asked. 

“Dead people are the City Bureau’s work. I have something else to handle.” The young officer smiled apologetically, “I’ll treat you to lunch later.”

“Okay.” Ji Fanyang, “No problem.”

The young officer walked away, and Ji Fanyang sat down and flipped through the papers. He rubbed his eyes, blaming himself a bit for his hasty words. 

The deceased was in Li Family village, Luowan county, Linhua City. The drive time was over two hours one way, and over four hours for the return journey. He lifted his head to call Rao Feifei, who was immersed in her phone: “Feifei, let’s go.”

“I’m not deaf. It’s you who needs to send out the notice, not me.” Rao Feifei’s eyes didn’t leave the screen, her thumbs typing nonstop, “You should get going, or give Chief Lu a call.”

“…Nevermind.” Ji Fanyang admitted defeat. Calling Chief Lu was equivalent to calling a demon, and said demon wouldn’t agree anyway.

——Lu Hui’s home——

Lu Hui was bored enough to watch grass grow, so he put on a pair of tattered slippers, pitter-pattered down the stairs, and sat his butt down next to an old man playing chess by himself under a tree. 

The old man raised his eyelids: “Willing to come out, are you?”

“Bored.” Lu Hui said. He raised a hand and broke up the chess formation in front of the old man with a swish, “Where’s your dog?”

“What dog? His name is Doudou!” The old man fumed with anger, “You lousy brat, I spent all morning arranging that.”

“Oh, then spend the afternoon arranging it again. This way, your half-dead self can finally pass on.” Lu Hui said, “Call your dog over, I brought a bone for it.”

“What nonsense.” The old man patted Lu Hui’s back, “I won’t, last time you flaunted the bone to Doudou for an afternoon, I felt sorry just watching.”

“Tch, stupid dog.” Lu Hui threw out the bone disinterestedly. A little brown dog ran from the yard and lept halfway up in the air, but Lu Hui picked up the bone at lightning speed, his hand moving so fast that it almost left afterimages. 

“Bark!” The dumb dog complained indignantly to Lu Hui, “Bark, bark, bark!”

“Stupid dog.” Lu Hui flung the bone away, “Fetch.”

The dumb dog scampered off post-haste. 

“See, it’s happily playing.” Lu Hui spouted triumphantly to the old man. 

“You aren’t a dog, how do you know it’s happy?” The old man rolled his eyes.

“You aren’t a dog, either, how do you know it’s not happy?” Lu Hui shot back. 

“Lousy brat, don’t you know to respect the elderly?” The old man didn’t return to his chess game. 

“Damn old man, don’t you know to cherish the young?” Lu Hui reached out a hand, saying to the dumb dog with a threatening face, “Give it.”

“Bark…” The dumb dog recoiled, groveling on the ground and spitting the bone out. 

“Well-behaved.” Lu Hui rubbed the dog’s head, then hurled the bone away again, “Fetch.”

“You bastard.” The old man frowned in distress, “You’re unemployed again?”

“No, I just don’t want to go.” Lu Hui said, “Messing with the dog is more fun than working.”

“…You all don’t get rewarded for full attendance?” The old man asked. 

“We do, but I don’t want it.” Lu Hui’s frank response made others unable to respond. 

“…” The old man could only shake his head, “Accompany me for a game.”

“Yesterday afternoon, I completely demolished you. Did you forget?” Lu Hui replied. 

“Shut up.” The old man lowered his head to set the pieces, “Any more of your nonsense and I’ll just lay down.”

“Don’t.” Lu Hui quickly put on a serious expression, “I can’t afford to pay ten thousand yuan.”

——Li Family Village, Luowan County——

“Hello, I’m from the City’s Public Safety Bureau.” Ji Fanyang flashed his badge, then flipped through the papers and asked, “Are you Li Peng’s wife?”

“I am, I am.” A simply dressed woman squeezed her way out of the crowd, “Did something happen?”

“Li Peng’s body was pulled out of a pond east of the village. After drinking excessively, he slipped and fell into the pond on a rainy day.” Ji Fanyang said. 

“Impossible, that’s impossible.” The rims of the woman’s eyes suddenly reddened, and she raised her voice, “Da Peng rode a bike over there the last few years, and nothing ever happened!”

“Yeah, little Comrade Officer.” The few villagers next to the woman all started chiming in, “did you all investigate wrong? A few years ago, it snowed hard and iced around the pond, but Da Peng still biked home.”

“Those who drown often can swim.” Ji Fanyang said, “Someone can’t be lucky every time.”

“Little Comrade, what you said isn’t right.” A tall man stood up, and when he saw Ji Fanyang’s gaze land on him, he introduced himself, “I’m the village chief, Li Ying. Da Peng is my little brother.”

“Chief Li, here are the results of the autopsy. You see, blood alcohol levels exceed the legal limit. It’s been raining severely, so isn’t a slip-and-fall a normal determination?”

“How is this a normal determination? Da Peng’s bicycling skills were the best in the whole village. He could even bike circles around on the ice during the winter.” Li Ying said with utter disbelief. He grabbed Ji Fanyang’s arm, “You policemen can’t just send a notice and do nothing, it was definitely a murder!”

“Murder isn’t something you can just fabricate by flapping your lips.” Ji Fanyang’s ordinarily gentle temper was now somewhat agitated, “Let go of me!”

“If you don’t investigate, we’ll go report you to the City Bureau and see how you’ll end up!” Li Ying threatened. 

Ji Fanyang backed off: “How about this, I’ll give my chief a call and see what he thinks.”

“Then call right here, we’re keeping an eye on you.” Li Ying waved a hand, and several large villagers came forward to surround Ji Fanyang. 

——Lu Hui——

“Bzz bzz bzz”

“Bzz bzz bzz”

“Answer your phone!” The old man admonished him. 

Lu Hui pulled out his cellphone, took a look at the caller ID, then straight-up dismissed the call: “Let’s continue. You’re certain to lose.”

“Bzz bzz bzz”

“Bzz bzz bzz”

“Hurry up and answer it.” The old man said irritably, lifting a hand to mess up the chess pieces, “Quickly now.”

Lu Hui chuckled, like he was long acquainted with the old man’s shameless behavior, then picked up the call: “What is it?”

“Chief, I’m at Li Family Village, in Luowan County.” Ji Fanyang explained in as few words as possible, “I’m being trapped here.”

“Li Family Village? What’re you doing there?” Lu Hui adopted a more comfortable posture. 

“I was handing out a notice of death, and the villagers won’t let me leave.” Ji Fanyang laughed bitterly, “The deceased slipped and fell into a pond after excessive drinking, but the villagers say he would always pass by the pond with no issue, so it must be murder.”

“Oh?” Lu Hui drawled, as if pondering it, then said, “Call the Luowan County local police. What are you doing, calling me?”

“They said if we don’t investigate, they’ll report us to the Bureau.” Ji Fanyang said. 

“Let them report. Tell them that wasting police resources amounts to prison time.” Lu Hui said. 

“I’m the chief of Li Family Village.” The cellphone was suddenly snatched, and the voice of a brawny man came through, “If you don’t investigate, this little comrade will be staying with us for a few days.”

Lu Hui frowned, and he slowly sat up in his chair: “Are you threatening me?”

“Yes.” Li Ying replied. 

Lu Hui’s brow creased, and for a while he didn’t respond. After thinking it over, he said: “I’m driving over there now, give the phone back to him.”

“Chief Lu.” Ji Fanyang’s voice returned. 

“Call Rao Feifei and Yang Jie and have them meet me at Li Family Village in two hours. Also, have seven or eight local police officers come over.” Lu Hui pulled the bone out of the dumb dog’s mouth and put it in his pocket, then hung up. He turned his head to the old man, “I’m going to work.”

“Go ahead and scram.” The old man waved him off. 

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